Losing someone you love

Now, many people have lost someone they love, I lost my grandpa right before Christmas.  I was devastated, but there wasn't anything I could do.
My brain told me it was coming when he was sent to stay in the hospital, yet my heart had hope.  I really wanted to be able to see him again, it will happen one day in Heaven, but not earth.
A few weeks before he was hospitalized (hope its spelled right)  I was talking to him on the phone, he was telling me how I used sit on his lap, he'd scratch my back, and I'd beg him to take me to Buddy Freddie's, I love that place, and still would had it not closed down.
I have one last memory of going there on my sixth birthday before we moved.  From Florida to Texas, quite a distance by car.
See, everytime we would talk, he would ask me the same threw questions, he was joking around but they were real, I won't give out this questions because I don't want to, but I wish I could've said yes one of those times he asked but I couldn't, cause they never happened, two out of three still haven't actually!
I remember laying in bed around 2:30 in the morning one time, my mom had just found out he was gone, she told my dad, no one knew I was awake and had heard, I layed there and cried for many hours, feeling upset and alone, with no one to go too.  I still cry to this day because I miss him so much, even though it's been three months.
Recently my siblings and I got some money from my grandma for Easter, well she and my grandpa always signed the cards "Hugs and kisses, grandma and grandpa", without thinking about it I read it grandma and grandpa yet it was only signed grandma.
I want to remember him jolly and fat like Santa Claus (minus the beard), his great big Bear hugs, his breathing on my neck making me scream and squirm, remember him telling me grandma put new candy in the candy drawer, him and me sitting there talking about random little kid stuff like, for me that's how I'll remember him, I know it's different for the people who saw him sick and skinny and bald, but not me, I'll remember my very own Santa clause minus the beard.
He had cancer and it finally took him away from me and my siblings and grandma and mom, I'll miss him till I see him again in heaven, but till then, I'll continue waving to the sky and talking to him like he was right there beside me.
I love you grandpa, till we meet again ❤❤